For a very long time, I was lost; I just didn’t know it.
By lost, I mean I had no idea how to get from where I was to where I wanted to be. I knew where I was, but I had no idea what to do next, let alone the interrelated steps necessary to get me where I desperately wanted and needed to be. I was stuck in place and lost in space. Sadly, for years.
The only thing I could think of was to copy what others had done. I called these “curated paths;” life paths that were defined by others. There are lots of teachers and speakers with tangible ideas and success stories proving exactly what you need to do next. I know, because I listened to and read books by many of them, but these curated and defined paths just never seemed to work for me. I was moving, but not making any forward progress. Sound familiar?
Not until I totally surrendered, in total and abject desperation, to Creation and the possibilities of life, did my life begin changing. Initially, I thought the change was brought about because I was noticing and following the crumbs (clues) Creation was providing; that my awareness was creating a space for me to see the possibilities Creation was creating for me. At the time, it made perfect sense.
But now, several years later, I am in a place to understand my truth. I decided; it was as simple as that. Me, myself and I, unanimously, decided. The superpower I found within, the one I absolutely needed for my journey in life, was the ability to decide, the power to make a decision and move on.
Stated like this, it sounds so simple. I make hundreds of decisions every day, but when it came down to making a decision I knew was going to impact my ability to understand myself and deliver me toward the life I wanted—I froze. I would overthink every opportunity, carefully running the permutations and combinations in my mind to make sure I didn’t miss anything, then fearfully calculating the implications of making a bad or wrong decision. Classic cost/benefit risk analysis. This created such an emotional frenzy I was no longer even clear about what I was trying to decide or accomplish. I was afraid to try, and I was afraid to fail. I was afraid of making the wrong choice and swerving off my path.
In retrospect, the single biggest contributing factor in helping me discover my superpower was silence. Early on, based on advice I heard in a radio interview, I created time every morning to just sit and be still. Over time, this practice became a ritual meditation of sorts, and in those precious moments, there was just me and Creation. Many sages and teachers have said the first stage to seeking wisdom is silence.
And in silence, a truth of sorts became apparent. Thinking for myself, let alone outside of the box, is difficult for me when I’m constantly being bombarded by TV, radio, social media, marketing, and advertising all offering solutions to problems I didn’t even know I had. Their approach is subtle and seductive.
By sitting in stillness with myself, I had nobody to listen to but me. Ever so slowly, almost imperceptibly, a subtle shift began stirring. I honestly didn’t even recognize it for what it was, but there it was. Silence was creating a space for me to see the possibilities Creation was offering. As I made conscious choices to act on them, I was deciding for myself. Each decision I made brought me closer to the next one, and the next, and the next after that. The decisions that I began making were moving me toward the destination I wanted.
I sometimes wonder where I would be if I had made different decisions. The nagging fear that I am missing out is insidious, but rather than let go of the fear, I employ my superpower and make a decision. I have decided that my truth lies in the Kabbalistic Law of Certainty that Creation will provide what I need to continue my journey. The Certainty that, with help from Creation, my decisions create the best possible outcome for my continued growth. Whatever happens, whatever I decide, is best for me.
My superpower? I am deciding by myself, for myself. And it is amazing.
PS. What is your superpower? Please add your comments.